4 July 2016
I have a friend with a little ritual…
Many years ago, my friend’s husband died. It wasn’t a sudden, middle-of-the-night death. Sadly, this was a long, lingering, painful illness that played itself out over several years. My friend watched her big, strong husband who once played semi-pro football, a man who could bench-press a small truck, wither away into helplessness. Until he died. Which happened to be on the 4th of July.
The next year went by quickly, as these things do, until she woke up on the 3rd of July and realized that the next day would mark one year. So she went to the store and bought a small American flag. The next morning, she walked out onto her front porch, set up her little flag, and stood there admiring it. She thought she should do something more; not a memorial, but just something that would simply acknowledge her late husband’s existence. They had both enjoyed music, so she thought a song would be appropriate. But which song? What do you sing in remembrance of a dead husband? She wanted something happy, so she sang the first song that popped into her head. Standing there in the morning sunshine, my friend very quietly sang Happy Birthday to her dead husband.
The years went by, of course. People say that Time heals all wounds, but they’re wrong. It doesn’t. The sorrow never fades; you just learn to live with it. And you hope that someday you can talk about it without getting that funny catch in your throat. And every year, on the 4th of July, my friend puts out her American flag, stands on the porch, and quietly sings Happy Birthday.
This year was no different. The Earth made another trip around the sun, and today, once again, my friend stood on her front porch in the early morning sunshine with her American flag, and softly… quietly… sang Happy Birthday to her dead husband.
So why am I telling you this little story? What’s my point? I’m not really sure, but I suppose it could just be a reminder that nothing lasts forever. Enjoy every day. Hold tightly to those you love. Do whatever makes you happy. But do it. And don’t forget to sing.
And that’s the news from Flying Dog Ranch.